The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast–all suspicion, all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion or gloom, or resentment–his great concern being to make everyone at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd … He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip with him, and interprets everything for the best. ~Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman, The Idea of a University